It has been a while since our last encounter and so, dear reader, we are very glad to meet again – we hope you feel the same. Over the last months a lot of bullets have been sweat fulltime behind the scenes (besides constant drinking and painting, we mean) and you can see the end result in front of you. You should immediately notice the new design, as well as some additional functions for a smoother browsing experience. Our sophisticated statistical analysis (quite honestly, we pull those numbers out of our ass) has shown that a substantial part of our readers are retired baby-boomers and that is why we would like to go through the high-tech navigation stuff with you.
- “J”& “K” keys on your keyboard change to previous/next posts;
- You can also scroll down through hitting your space bar;
- With the “L” button you can like posts, or rather, as we like to call it here, HATE posts. This function is not connected to any social media so do not hesitate to use it;
- Through tapping “C” you will be immediately moved to the comments section, where you can tell us how excited you are about the forthcoming presidential elections. The comment system is using FICTS™ (Facebook Illuminati Content Tracking System) and if you do not uncheck the option to post it to your wall, you might end up embarrassed at the office of your boss;
- The “R” key redirects you to a random post backwards and forwards into the future; we are quite certain that this might turn out to be greatest hit EVER for lonely Sundays;
- “V” means “View post” and redirects you immediately to the post you are hovering over currently – smart, eh?
If you use those functions wisely, you will be in and out of the site in your employer’s restroom break – it is quite easy to get addicted to them, trust us. Posts will now not be displayed in their entirety, but you will have to enter them to see the rest of the content. Some of the frames will, for some goddamn unspecified reason, be closed with the message “NOT SAFE FOR WORK” and you will have to login to view them. This, understandably, means that you will be able to show your mom the nice flick of the Eiffel Tower we took while skydiving, but not our shaved oversized dickies – something tells us she knows where to find them, anyway. Bottom line, you can log in via Facebook or just register in the span of a few seconds. Your credit card information and naked flicks are not required, but if you so desire, you can surely pass them over. For anything else: Our eMail & Facebook hotline is open 24/7 so you can send any bugs, suggestions and hate to our outsourced 12-year-old support-girls in the Philippines.
So much for the geek stuff.